A Letter to Steve Jobs, Sky and Jodie Marsh
Posted by: Ryan on: September 28, 2007
Dear Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple Computers Inc.),
You and your team of trusty employees are pretty good at designing stuff, so I have a challenge for you. The conventional supermarket trolley still seems to be the worst designed thing in the universe ever. You have already made mp3 players work really well, so why not stop improving them further and make a supermarket trolley that does all of these things:
• Has all 4 wheels on the ground at the same time
• Rolls along silently, and does not sound like the clean, smooth supermarket floor is made of gravel
• Goes exactly where you intend it to
• No matter how many times you touch it… it never… ever sends a bolt of lightning coursing through your body
With today’s technology, it really can’t be that difficult.
Dear Jodie Marsh,
I have a strong distaste for you.
Dear Sky,
Please could you sack the wise-guy who came up with the idea to use corporate blue as the colour of making the top and bottom letterbox elements bright, distracting, eye-catching blue… damn you. This is just a way of punishing those of us not fortunate enough to have a new-fangled widescreen TV. I am sending you negative energy as we speak.
EDIT – Since I originally wrote this, the problem has been resolved… wow this blog has got some power, I hadn’t even published the post… Dear Shannyn Sossamon…
Who would you like to write to today and what would you write?
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September 28, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Dear Amy Winehouse,
Please take a bath and wash with bleach. Take that stupid black eye liner off your eyes and dump the dead crow that you balance upon your scrutty head.
Dear Bloke on the 17:39 South Wet Train service to Dorking calling at Vauxhall, Clapham Junction etc,
Please dear God gargle with some heavy duty cleaner. Your breath was so bad I had to turn my back to you and i could still smell it. I hav never wished to be elsewhere in all my life so much.